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Alex has a European accent and claims to be from Paris, but is vague about where in the city, saying 'you wouldn't have heard of it' - which is as insulting as it is unbelievable.
When I attempt to speak to him in French, he looks utterly horrified and declares that it is his rule to speak only English when he is in England.
Alex arrives ten minutes early at the Italian restaurant I've chosen, bringing with him a rather wilted rose.
It is wrapped in brown paper, rather than cellophane, which makes me wonder whether he's just stolen it from someone's garden.
No sooner do I hit the send button than the responses start to pour in. They all look as if they could be Britney Spears' chavvier brothers and that every meal they eat comes from a takeaway chicken bucket.
I also receive a simply hilarious message from Giles, an Englishman based in Sydney, Australia, who wants me to fly him ( first class, of course) to London and to put him up at the Dorchester.
He is also a culture vulture who adores the theatre, opera and ballet, if only he could afford it, he adds rather pointedly.
Not forgetting Ian from Newport who, at 54, is surely too old to qualify as a sugar baby.
In return for acting as a generous benefactor, you will get a good-looking escort at your beck and call.
We have become used to the notion of WAGs and gold-digging floozies who latch onto rich male prey, but what sort of man targets wealthy women to fund his lifestyle?
He texts me several times a day to tell me that I am gorgeous - my skin is like porcelain, my eyes are like deep pools and my hair is like golden sand.
He wants to spend Christmas with me, so that he can make me feel 'delicious all over'.
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He is careful not to mention my extreme wealth - at least not at first.